Some Antidote For A Stressful Life...

Relax...sure, life is awful nowadays, sit back and have a nice belly laugh!

1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY

Boy 1: Why do you
run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked
lady, I'll turn into
stone. A part of me is getting hard already!


(2) NAMES OF WIVES

A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !


(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME

This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while
thinking a name of his
country and his mistress ask him "is it In
Dear?"...


(4) RESEARCH FINDING

Research shows men are fatter than women because
every-night men get fresh
milk & 2 big papayas
women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of
starch!


(5) ARAB MAN

An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"


(6) SERVICE

Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and
sometimes you have to be
satisfied with self-service"


(7) HAPPY MAN

What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing
persons"


(8) SWIMSUIT

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY
section.


(9) GOOD AMBITION

Teacher: What do
you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u
can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for
it.


(10) DENTIST

Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll
rather have a baby
than
have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the
chair accordingly."


(11) VIRGIN

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "


(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL

75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten
everything.